After ten and a half years of marriage my world was rocked when my husband told me he had an affair and he wasn’t sorry and didn’t want to reconcile our marriage. I find myself in an awkwardly “anti-public opinion” position of not hating him, or her. I had a life that wasn’t perfect, but it was perfectly mine and while we may not have been the best married, and I wonder if there is hope that we I might just make it out as friends.
130 days after he told me about his affair, my world was rocked again, when his body was found, tragically ended- allegedly self-inflicted. So I am saying goodbye to him yet again.
My faith in Jesus Christ and my close friends who have rallied around me remind me that I am strong enough to make it through. The concern I have is the stops that my mind and heart will want to make along the way. There is much to pray, much to say and much to know.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
try me, and know my thoughts.
Psalm 139:23
Want to send me an email: goblueblog@yahoo.com
goblueblog 
Wow I want you to know how sorry I am. I know my words aren’t even something that can even begin to understand how I really feel. I look forward to reading more. Some of your words I can relate but the other, my heart hurts and wish I could help in some way. What a conflicting feeling to have.
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Thank you for your kindness. I think the best part of telling my story is that there are people that really do relate and it takes some of that sting out of the loneliness? I am thankful for those who have walked before me to encourage me, those that walk with me for company, and those that come after me, who I hope to inspire to keep moving forward.
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