Emotional relationships venture into dangerous territory. They may not initially lead to physical involvement, but they can still devastate marriages. Focus on the Family, The Truth About Emotional Affairs.
Your justifications, your excuses… I think I dwell on them because they are without reason and sense. I find it hard to believe that I lived ten years buying into all sorts of excuses, even helping you make a couple of them. And now, being removed from you really makes me see them for what they are: stupid, nonsensical and really just lies.
The day you handed me your half of the rent check and it had her address on it, you knew exactly what you were doing. I asked you what was up, what was the deal, were you two dating? And your response was “Yes & No, that you hung out and did things together.” I’m going to poll the audience on this one but isn’t that called……… dating? It’s been awhile but I’m pretty sure that’s one of the definitions.
You told me that you weren’t having sex with her. I’m not sure why you felt you needed to tell me that but you did. You stupid, stupid boy, an affair isn’t just about sex. You are living with her and she is a part of your life, a part of your routine, she is someone that you care for. Case in point — the day you were leaving for your vacation you very specifically said to me, “Now, P and all of them aren’t going to go to the store and harass her are they? Because that would fuckin’ piss me off.” I responded, “how would I know?” There was more emotion in that question you asked me about her than there was the entire weekend leading up to you leaving. Affairs are not just physical, they can be emotional. You are emotionally involved with her, ergo, you are still having an affair and yes, you are still married.
It still makes me completely nauseous to know that you spent time talking about me to her, compared me to her, hid your 1800+ texts and phone calls to/from her, spent time at another co-worker’s house with her, used your friends as a cover to go be with her.
I pray that the Lord grants me grace and the freedom to forgive myself for trusting you and readily buying into the lies you told me. And I still pray that you will come to full repentance before the Lord. But since that’s not happening anytime soon, will you at least pay the lawyer?