purpose

Side A

Z. looking ahead, making my way, new way of life , , , ,

In 2014 I had a much different story to tell, a story that is now a part of my life, but no longer my life. I struggled with the thought of continuing my story under goblueblog and it just didn’t feel right.

I am now blogging at www.behindtheglass.blog … where I plan to build upon the life that was created out of the chaos of losing my husband on so many levels. It feels like forever ago but in reality its only been 2 years, 4 months, 28 days… and yes, I do still think about time, it’s just not as all-consuming as it once was. 

Welcome to “Side A” of my life (I wonder how many will understand that reference?!) where it’s not about starting over, but starting again.

 

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The Little Things

Z. looking ahead, memories , , , , , ,

It’s the little things

  • When filling out paperwork and I need to list my emergency contact. For so long it was you
  • When having to circle single, married, divorced. I’m technically still married, but I’m currently single while in the midst of divorce proceedings
  • Having to remember to take the trash to the curb
  • Hearing about a current event and not having anyone to ask or talk to about it
  • Seeing someone with a Michigan hat or shirt and wanting to shout GO BLUE so that I could come home and tell you that I made you proud
  • Seeing a mutual acquaintance who isn’t in our current circle and he asks me how you are doing
  • Watching College Game Day and laughing at Lee Corso
  • Knowing that the reason you didn’t like Kirk Herbstreit is because he played for Ohio

It’s the questions that will never be answered

  • Am I angry at you Or am I angry at the time I feel you stole from me by having an affair?
  • Why haven’t you paid the lawyer yet? It’s been 40 days
  • When did I stop being good enough for you?

It’s the realizations

  • I forgot how much I liked country music
  • I missed natural light filling a room, you always insisted on closing the curtains to avoid glare on the TV
  • I really HATED the setting you chose for text message alerts. I told you, but you ignored me
  • I missed pizza with more than a meat topping. When money meant that we could only get one pizza, I always defaulted to what I knew you would eat and gave up my veggie pizzas
  • Quiet time can really be quiet. No TV or music in the background, just quiet—me & God
  • You really had a foul mouth, its nice to go a full day without hearing the “F” word
  • All eighteen stations in the car can now be set to what I want… I’ve not changed them yet
  • Just because my marriage ended doesn’t mean that God’s purpose my life did